As I sit here this morning, waiting for the bus to come and pick up my All-Star, I found myself sad and angry. For so long I have found myself telling other people, “Sorry he has Autism!” as if I needed to excuse my son’s behavior, because in some way it has inconvenienced them.
Hello! Welcome to my world!" I should be asking, "Why you are trying to inconvenience me?”
Why am I apologizing to a person that I do not know, a person that I may never see again in my life, a person that really doesn't matter to me? I feel awful and ticked off, because in that moment I stopped being my child's mother and advocate to help placate the feelings of a stranger. I am so ashamed of doing this, not just to my child, but in front of him.
So, as of today I say, “F@*% THAT!”
No longer will I allow others to play the victim in his time of need. Let’s be real; no one would expect someone to turn around and apologize to a shard of glass they’ve just stepped on and cut their foot with, so why should I apologize to the judgmental people who stop and stare, offering no words of kindness, just looks of disgust that cut me? My son deserves better and it is my job to do better, even in those moments where I am tempted to be embarrassed by the behaviors he cannot help.
So, if you see me at the store with my child in full melt down mode, feel free to nod with me, smile and agree. My child is an All-Star, and my job is to set him free. You can either help us or leave us be.